Sunday, January 30, 2011

I Send my Kids to Daycare, and I Don't Feel Guilty.

Okay. Here's the deal. I work a part-time job at a department store and I'm also a massage therapist. I don't really work that much. Max....3 days a week. I haven't even worked since Christmas, until this week.

Some may know that my husband is in the Army. He is stationed at Ft. Wainwright.....Alaska. I live in the mid-west. We are 3589.32 miles apart. We haven't lived together since 2009. Now, I can here it coming..."why in the hell are you not living with your husband?". Answer: Both our daughters were in foster care. And by "were in foster care" I don't mean, we put them in foster care. I mean, we were their foster parents. First we had Wendolyn in our care. We knew from the start that we would be able to adopt her but, we had no idea it would take 2.5 years. John had his orders for AK before the adoption was ever in sight. Wendi, aka Wendolyn, was placed with us at 13 months old and he left when she was 18 months old. We adopted her when she was 3 years and 2 weeks old. Ummmm, yeah. Ridiculous. Because she was a foster child she could not leave the state. We have a house to sell and we knew he was deploying soon after he got to AK. I would rather be here where I love and am familiar. As opposed to be in -30 degrees, by myself and not know anyone. And he did deploy the month after he got there.

So while John is away and before Wendolyn is ever adopted her birth mom is pregnant again. Then I had the internal fight with myself to take custody of this baby too. I had a really hard time. I knew in my head that it was going to be so draining. 2 kids+1 person=mayhem. I have no family here. None. Mine are 6 hours away and John's is 4. It was me and only me. It still is me and only me. At the same time this was my chance to have a newborn. Something I never thought would happen. They were sisters, half, but in my eyes they are biologically sisters. Long story short, with a lot left out since I can't say much cause she is not adopted yet, we took her. How could you not?

So here we are. John is leaving for Afghanistan in April and I have one adopted child and one foster child and a house that has yet to be put up for sale. (I will never buy a house again until he is retired. Biggest mistake of our life..thus far) Same spot as 2009.

Wendolyn was already in daycare because I was going to school full-time. When Sissy came along I was still in school, so she had to go to daycare as well. I would keep Sissy at home with me the days I didn't have school. She was only 2 weeks old when she started going. WAY to young but the school I was attending wouldn't let me miss anymore. I took both of them out of daycare for a while since I wasn't working. That's when it went all down hill.

I was the worst mother. Ever.

I was so stressed and depressed and just generally over come with anxiety. I was a zombie. I never left the house because I was so scared that they would act up in the store and I would look like the 13 year old with 2 kids. So that lasted 2 weeks.

I needed daycare. I needed time to be me and do normal big person things. I wanted to see the inside of a grocery store. Know what the sun felt like. Not hear crying or screaming. Just some Whoosa.

One week later. Calm. Peace. And a shower.

I have family members that said it was horrible of me and that it is my "job" to raise these kids. Ummm, no. I love being a mom and I love my children but I cannot do it alone. I don't know how single mothers can work enough hours to make enough money to live on and raise small children. I have the utmost respect for these women. I want to kiss their feet. I totally under stand the saying "it takes a village to raise a child". Never more true than it is today in my life.

Why do I not feel guilty? Many reasons.

1. They learn SO much. They come home with things that leaves me saying "WTH?". Wendi could sign 12 words by the time she was 18 months. Signs that she really knew what they meant and could use them in context. I know she was trying to sign other words but I had no idea what she was saying.

Not only can she sign. She can speak Spanish. Like for real. That makes her what? Tri-lingual?

Days of the week? She knows them. Weather? oh yeah. Sing songs? What song ya wanna hear? This kid is a juke box. Body parts? More than I would like her to know. I'll tell you about the nipple incident another day as well. The list goes on.

2. She is a social butterfly and so is Sis. This has pros and cons. Stories to come in later blogs. It's obvious they favor Mommy (which I love) but there is no hyperventilating and kicking and screaming when leaving them in class. It's apparent that Wendi has her true BFFs. I think about how cute it would be if Wendi and Tryten find each other on Facebook while in college and get married. So sweet.

3. You can dress them in super cute clothes, and there is someone to compliment on it.

4. They enjoy it. Wendolyn will ask if it's a school day. Every once in a while she will want to stay home, and I let her. We go to tea rooms and have lunch, do a little shopping. This also allows me to have one on one time with each kid.

5. I love doing holiday parties in Wendi's classroom. She gives out super awesome goody bags.

6. I have really become like family with these ladies. They know these kids like I do. They have went above and beyond what a normal worker would do. I know that they love both girls. It makes it very easy to trust them.

7. This list could really go on and on.

8. I am a much better mother. I have time to myself. I can get all the housework done and the running in town. When we are together we really can enjoy that time. It's TRUE quality time and not just being in the house together.

I know some people will always be anti-daycare and some just want to be the person with their kid day in and day out. I totally respect that. And I am not saying that I haven't had some throw downs with the staff. That's a blog within it's self. I just refuse to let these people make be feel guilty on how I chose to send my kids to daycare. This works for us and we are okay with it.

 If John was still here I would keep Wendolyn enrolled but probably just have Sissy in part time. Or Sissy may be full time as well. I just don't know, hard to say. I just want all the other "stay at home" moms to feel that it is okay for you to send your kids to a preschool or daycare. A happy mom makes a happy family. It's perfectly fine for you to need "me time" or just want to get a pedicure or go shopping...alone. I know when my husband is around the last thing I want to do is leave him at home with the kids. I want to spend time with him too! It's the best when he is home on a weekday and we can have "day dates". The movie is cheaper and no one is hardly there and you can make-out and feel like a kid again and then go get the little ones from school. A-mazing. You are so much more revived and ready to take on the demands of being a domestic goddess and embrace the poopy daipers and constant request for a sippy cup refill. Embrace the fact that we cannot do it "all" but we can do more than enough. That's what makes use modern domestic deities.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011


I love having a place for everything and everything in it's place. But lets face it, that place might be jumbled up in a drawer with 20 other things. Every time I opened my bathroom closet it just looks incomplete. I have these Sterilite drawers that I think most people have SOMEWHERE in their house. I think most people get them so they can see what's in there, that's why they bought the clear ones and not the neon green ones. But, I like classic white, not college dorm pink. It bothered me how you could see everything in there. Lets face's a one needs to see the fact that you took advantage of the sale on tampons at Sam's Club.

Maybe I am just a creeper but, when I go to people's houses for a party and I have had my cocktails and I need to pee, I am gonna go through your bathroom. I will open the closet door and see what goods ya got. Possibly thieve a tampon from you (only if need be....or because you use some brand I have never tried). I don't dig through everything and pull it out and use your loofah or anything; just peek. So here is the solution for people like you to stop people

I went to Staples and bought 2 packs of decorative file folders. Each pack was  $4.99. The pack included 2 of each print. I only needed one pack in the end but I wanted to be sure that I had enough. In fact, I only used 1 folder of each print. That included the set of large drawers, 2 sets of medium and 1 of the small. You can buy just one folder for .99 and I looked at Wal-mart and they had packs of them as well in stripe patteren. The key is for it to be thicker than the normal manilla folder.

If you have one of these straight cutter things you will have this done in NO TIME. If not, grab some scissors and a straight edge.

Unfold the folder and cut in half. I cut mine at the very first line at the bottom of the folder. 

On the big drawers all you have to do is cut the height. I held the half of the folder next to the drawer and marked a line. I took it to my cutter-thingofamajig and cut it to size.
*For smaller drawers simply cut the height and the width to size. 

If you are using the Sterilite brand you need no glue, no tape, nothing! It will stay in place because of the indention in the drawer.  You are basically done other than sliding the decorative folder into place.

That is all it takes! You are done and people can't get all up in your bathroom business. Well, not at a glance anyway. Here are some before and after pictures just so you can see the difference. You'll be amazed at how different you feel with PRETTY and not to mention CHIC looking plastic ware in your closet. Looks like a million bucks and it cost you under 5 dollars!

I labeled the drawers mostly for my husband or overnight guest that might need to find something. I, of course, know what's in all the drawers..most of the time.
Thanks so much for reading and I will be posting video directions on my YouTube channel as well. As for now, put those kids to bed and have a cocktail. Mommy needs a time out.

Monday, January 17, 2011

No Mom Jeans for Me Please

I was searching around on looking for ideas to help me with my New Year resolution. So, I searched and searched and searched...Who knew so many 16 and 20 something college kids had walk in closets. But I don't have a walk in closet. In fact, I have to share what little closet I have with my husband (not to mention the presents for birthdays and Christmas). That's when it hit me. I'll start my own YouTube channel and blog. It will keep me busy while the husband is off playing Army, and maybe it will help some other modern moms. Maybe one day companies will send me free samples to try and talk about to my other domestic divas. I can imagine my bathroom filled with nail polish of every color, the best eye creams, bath salts for days, fragrances from across the world. Fantastic.

No mom jeans here. Just moms in their 20's and 30's that will someday be in our....40's (insert shrieking) that are hip and can totally get jiggy with it. We know what's cool. I know that nothing is worse than watching people walking down the mall and knowing that that lady pushing down that stroller use to be mod, she knew what was in fashion, she even was caught up on the latest text lingo and music. Now, all she knows is what's coming on Nick Jr. My friends, that is not going to be us. We all have our days of being covered in half chewed Teddy Grahams and snot. We shall over come depression, not be chained to this house and do nothing but cook and clean. We are modern moms and we can do it all and look and feel fabulous.

I hope to fill this blog with useful and helpful tips to save us time and money on our domestic side. Health and beauty tips so we can look ravishing doing it. A place where we can share stories of rearing our children, highs and lows. Maybe we can all make some friends along the way. Grab some coffee, a little bit of chocolate and enjoy.